I learned something from Wikipedia today. This isn’t something that is uncommon, but I’ve always found it interesting how you can move so quickly from one topic to the next.

Today, for example, while researching Phantom Power for work purposes, I discovered that Betty Boop was originally an anthropomorphic french poodle.

I decided that it might be fun to list just exactly how I got from one to the other, in the hopes that you all might have far more interesting stories than I about this kind of thing.

I (and especially my band-mates) are convinced I have ADD, so follow along as closely as you can…

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Recently, the world found out about the breakup of Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy… through Facebook. That’s right, news reports were generated by those unfortunate friends who signed in to their Facebook accounts only to find that, like many of us, one of their friends went from being ‘in a relationship’ to ’single’.

My boyfriend and I always joke about breaking up with each other on Facebook. “If Facebook says it, it must be true” I always say. So much drama — ending, starting, or altering a relationship status in any way is such a catalyst for rumours and hearsay.  So why don’t we hide our relationship statuses? I know I don’t because — like Chelsy Davy, I’m sure, but perhaps with different reasoning — I’m proud to be dating who I’m dating. I want the (internet) world to know!

I can’t help but think we’re shortchanging future generations of literary critics, who’re going to have to write dissertations on such poetry of the heart as: “UR DUMPT LUZER!” And no more sonnets, ’cause they’d be too long to Twitter.

What do YOU think?

The Forward Button Ring ($20 from Fred Flare) shows that you’re hopeful. You’re not afraid to take chances in life. Or, it could show that you had a momentary lapse of reason and thought that the previous page was better. You were wrong. You admit it. And the Forward Button was there to help you fix that wrong.

Are you a back button hitter… in life? Constantly feeling that you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be — where you don’t belong? Maybe you’ve gone too far, my friend. We all do sometimes. Turn the ring upside down and PRESTO! Back Button Ring shows the world you’re not afraid to admit your faults.

Love it? Go ahead and get it and then let us know how it’s freed your MIND.

Ah, Google. Google, Google, Google. Have I told you yet today how pretty you are?  You know I think you’re the most prettiest thing ever, right, baby? You’re perfect.

SO.

Google’s been pretty open about their opinions regarding Net Neutrality, Transparency, et al. They’re the white knights, fighting the good fight, and so on. Well now, Google is giving YOU a weapon with which to fight the injustice and evil corrupting the internet! So that now you, the humble geek, can help tear down the web of lies with your mighty, mighty mouse-clicking skills!

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I’ve arbitrarily decided that Wednesdays are no longer just Wednesdays — they’re OPINION WEDNESDAYS. For anyone who doesn’t actually know me in real life, I’ll simply state that for me to ask someone their opinion and listen to the response requires some form of special occasion, hence the big deal about OPINION WEDNESDAYS.

Now I’ve played World Of Warcraft. I’ve played Everquest and Everquest 2. I’ve played Guild Wars. I’ve played a lot of video games. I know you hear a lot about the fact that all of these games use women wearing some form of armour which appears as if it would be grossly ineffective due simply to its inability to protect any vital area one might target in combat to appeal to the guyfolk who play them, and how this hurts an entire gender.

On the other hand, I like looking at pictures of hot girls. Now, I’m not about to buy something because of the picture, but there’s no doubt that it catches my attention at least as much as a wicked-looking battle axe made of awesome.

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I wasn’t alive during the seventies (to my knowledge). Maybe some of you can convince me otherwise, but I have a vision of the girls back then being just as into the pinball machines and video games as the guys were. Some time between then and now, something has changed. I blame “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” for the Atari.

Whatever the reason, as a guy who enjoys his video games I often find myself wondering why it is that girls seem much less interested in gaming than guys do. I ponder this point as I’m in the matchmaking phase of some Halo 3, and then when I get into the pre-game setup and there happens to be a girl playing with us I am reminded exactly why.

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Do you have an expansive collection of cute and cuddly lil plushies, teddy bears, and carnival prizes just sitting around looking sweet and adorable with no real meaning or purpose to their dusty, shelved, meaningless existence?

Well I’ve got just the thing – LASER EYES! *pew pe-pe-pew!*

Wanna know how it’s done? It’s easy, I promise. Check out the instructions right here!

Wow. It hurts my soul a little bit to write about this, but here it is: Wii pom poms.

That’s right – now you no-imagination-what-so-ever types can rah-rah-rah right along with your favourite cheerleading games… wait, are there Wii cheerleading games? Turns out there are: Among others, All Star Cheer Squad was released on October 27th, 2008 and is one of several Wii games that uses the Wii Balance Board as well (though I doubt you’ll be doing any fancy tricks like on the front of the box.

Worst gaming accessory of the year? It’s only January, I’m sure there’ll be plenty more lining up for the title by December. But who am I to judge? If you can’t wait to get your little mitts on this, feel free to head over to the maker’s website — Hip Street (ha!) — and pick yourself up a set. They’re only $19.99 USD, after all.

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Sometimes an item comes along that you pass by in a store, perhaps, or see advertised on television which makes you think: this is the biggest piece of garbage I’ve ever seen and is a total waste of my money.  Dear readers, the swag available from the Rock Band Merch Store is the exact opposite.  Now, everyone’s played Rock Band.  If you haven’t, I’ll quickly write you another article about it:

ROCK BAND

Rock Band is this game where you simulate the performance of rock music by customizable avatars whose careers and futures and wacky hairdos are in your hands, which are gripping one of three different rock-related control devices (guitar/bass, drums, microphone).  It rocks, and you need to get it because of this. Go play it right now before you continue reading the article that this one is interrupting.  The article will still be here when you get back.

So.  Now everyone’s played Rock Band.  It immerses you in the feeling of actually being a real rock star.  When you make that avatar that looks just like you, dress it in $375 sneakers and $450 faded jeans, and play at Das Krapfentheatre in Germany for tens of thousands of screaming Germans, with three of your buddies backing you up (despite the fact that you’ve got to save their asses once per song) you really get into it.

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There are actually people alive on this planet who know how to use a slide rule–an early, non-electronic tool to help with computation that preceded the calculator as we know it.

At first electronic calculators were heavy, expensive pieces of equipment, but in the early 1970’s they became smaller, but no less expensive. By the late 1970’s they had finally become affordable enough for most people to use for common mathematical computations, and inspired Kraftwerk to joyously exclaim in song form:

I’m the operator with my pocket calculator! I am adding and subtracting I’m controlling and composing!

So why not show your equally exuberant feelings for this great bit of technology with calculator earrings cast in sterling silver? Each of them features the first six digits of pi (3.14159).  How cute!

Just in case these absolutely must go on your birthday wishlist, here’s where to buy them.